4 minute 

How to be a better listener and communicator

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Communication is one of the most important skills in life. If you can't communicate with others, it makes life difficult and stressful. For example, if you have an important project at work but can't tell your boss about it because you don't know how to speak up or if you have a problem with another person but don't know how to approach them, then this article will help you improve your speaking skills.

Keep your attention focused on the other person

When talking to someone, it's important to make eye contact with them. Don't check your phone or look around the room. Keep your eyes on the speaker and don't look away from them at all. This will help you pay attention and show that you are engaged in what they are saying, which is very important if you want to be a good listener!

Stay engaged and offer feedback

In order to be a good listener, you need to stay engaged. This means not letting your mind wander, not getting distracted by your phone or other people and not getting distracted by your own thoughts or feelings. You also have to keep an eye on what's going on with yourself so that you don't become distracted by your actions or expectations either.

Ask more questions

Asking questions is the best way to show that you're listening. It also helps you get more information about the topic and/or person, which is always useful. You should always be asking questions:

  • To understand the other person's point of view

  • To learn more about the topic

  • To learn more about the other person

If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that everyone wants to be listened to—and who better than someone who asks questions?

Learn with your body and mind

Keep your body language relaxed and open. Make eye contact, nod, smile and lean forward often. If you’re speaking with someone new to you, try to get as much information about them as possible before asking questions or making statements (i.e., “I noticed that you mentioned working at an animal shelter in the past during our conversation—is that what inspired your love for dogs?”) This will help keep the conversation flowing naturally because it shows them that you are listening intently to what they have to say.

Practice active listening

Active listening is a key part of communication. When you listen actively, you're paying attention to the person who's talking, not just waiting for your turn to speak. Active listening can help you better understand what someone is saying so that you can respond appropriately.

A good way to start active listening is by being aware of:

  • The main idea (what they're talking about)

  • What they're saying in detail (the supporting evidence)

  • Their feelings or emotions  (what are they feeling?)

  • Facts or statistics  (is this true?)  - if so how do we know it? If not how do we know?  - if there isn't any evidence then how should we approach it? What does the speaker want me to think about this issue?

Listen without judgment

Listening is a skill that takes practice, but it's an important one to learn. It can be hard to listen without judgment because we're all human, and we have our own biases and expectations. But learning how to do this makes you better at communicating with others—and being able to understand other people helps you both in your personal life and at work.

When someone is talking, try not to judge them or their message on anything other than what they're saying right now: "I like this person." "Their idea isn't working." Or simply: "This person is making me think."

Try not to get caught up in your own thoughts while the speaker is speaking; instead of thinking about what they should have said or how they could have said it differently, focus solely on their words as they come out of their mouth (or hands). This will help you really understand what's going through their head as well as where they are coming from when discussing whatever topic has sparked the discussion between the two of you.

Give the speaker your undivided attention

Make sure you give the speaker your undivided attention. Don’t talk on the phone or check email, and don’t do anything else that will distract you from listening. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next, and don’t think about what you’re going to eat for lunch.

Don't be quick to interrupt or interject your opinion

A good listener will not interrupt, interject their opinion, or try to solve the problem. Instead, they'll take a minute or two to think and process what the speaker is saying. Then, when it's their turn to speak (which is usually after being asked for input), they'll give an answer that's thoughtful and considered rather than rushed or impulsive.

It's also important not to give advice right away—it may be tempting in some situations but before you do anything else, please listen first! The speaker might even need help working through a problem at hand and might want someone who can provide them with useful resources rather than offer advice right away...

You might also find yourself tempted by any number of other things: trying to fix the problem—but if you've listened well enough then hopefully there won't be one; giving advice—see above! And last but not least: giving unsolicited criticism

Paraphrase what you hear to make sure you're on the same page.

As a communicator, you should always be open to hearing what other people have to say. This can be especially important when you are working with colleagues or team members who have different styles and personalities than you. It’s also important when someone is speaking from a perspective that is different from yours.

In an effort to understand the situation better, it's good practice to paraphrase what people say back to them. This allows them to clarify exactly how they feel about something and lets you make sure that both of your perspectives align on the same page.

Be attentive and communicate to get a better outcome

> Listening is the first step to being a better listener. You have to be attentive and make it clear that you are listening by nodding your head or repeating back what someone has just said, but don’t interrupt them.

> It’s also important to understand what they are saying. If it’s not clear, ask questions to gain clarity before you respond.

> When someone starts talking about themselves and their ideas, don’t just wait for your turn—be supportive of their ideas and suggestions. Try not to undermine them with negativity because they will feel discouraged from continuing their train of thought. Instead, ask questions such as “What do you mean? How did this happen? What have been some of your experiences? Can you tell me more about that? Where else do these principles apply in life? etc…


If you're looking to improve your communication skills, the most important thing is to keep practicing. Listening and responding are skills that take time and effort to master. The more you practice them, the better you'll be able to connect with others and get what you want out of life. In short: listen well, so that others will listen well back!

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Taylor Symmank

Meet Taylor -- Taylor is a retired NFL athlete that has been featured in major media outlets including Sirius XM Radio, ESPN, FOX Sports, CBS Sports, Bleacher Report, Dallas Morning News, New York Post, Washington Times, and Sports Illustrated. He has spent time with some of the world's top performers in sports and in business. He aims at helping others break through what is keeping them stuck, so they can become winners in every area of their life. He has also been working with Ryan Stewman side by side for some time now and has been helping individuals continually level up their life.
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