5 Ways to Be Helpful to Other People

Don't make it about you.

• Focus on the other person and what they need.
• Don't worry about what you are going to get out of it.
• Don't be concerned about how you are going to look.
• Don't be concerned about what others will think.

Be a good listener.

Being a good listener is the most useful skill for being helpful to other people. When you are listening well, the speaker feels heard and valued. They will be more likely to follow through on your suggestions and work together with you to solve problems in their life.

When someone has something important to say, it’s easy for our minds to wander off into thoughts about what we would do if we were in their shoes. It can also be tempting to interrupt them or start talking about ourselves as soon as they pause during their story — but this kind of behavior shuts them down like an ice-cold shower! If you really want someone else's advice or help, try your best not only to listen attentively but also to keep your mouth shut while they speak (a difficult feat).

Ask them "how can I be helpful?"

• When someone asks you to help them with something, ask them what they need.
• Ask them if there's anything you can do to help.
• If you're already helping someone, ask them how else you can assist them in their efforts.
• Even if the request is "no," tell the person that you'll think about it and get back to them later (if necessary).

Be sincere

It’s important to be genuine when helping other people. Don’t do it because you think that’s what good people are supposed to do, or because you feel obligated or pressured by someone else—help out because it feels right for you. Remember, there is no right way or wrong way; everyone has different needs and wants at this moment in their lives, so don’t judge yourself or others based on what seems like the “right” thing to do according to society's standards of morality (i.e., don't expect everyone around you to agree with every decision you make).

Know the difference between helping and enabling.

There's a fine line between helping and enabling. If you're the type of person who feels guilty when others ask for your help, don't worry: you're not alone. Many people feel that their time is better spent focusing on themselves or their own problems than trying to solve other people's issues, but that negative attitude is misguided—helping others can actually make you feel better!

In her book Codependent No More, Melody Beattie talks about "promiscuous compassion" as the act of giving without receiving anything in return (beyond a sense of purpose). When you volunteer your time at a soup kitchen or donate money to charity, for example, you're likely doing so with the hope that your efforts will benefit someone else in some way—but there are still many ways in which such efforts might also benefit you. You may get less stressed out by knowing that making donations helps others find jobs or feed their children, or perhaps even just thinking about those people makes it easier for you to appreciate what good things are happening in your own life.

Being helpful is a good thing but be sure that you are not enabling bad behavior or hurting yourself in the process.

Being helpful is a good thing, but you have to be sure that you are not enabling bad behavior or hurting yourself in the process. For example, if someone asks for help moving but they don’t actually need help moving, then you are doing them a disservice by helping them move when they don’t need it. You can help other people without enabling them!

If you're looking to be a more helpful person, there's nothing wrong with that! Just remember that helping is not necessarily the same as enabling and you should never sacrifice your own needs in order to help someone else. It can be tempting to try and fix everyone's problems but sometimes it's best just to leave them alone.